The LGBTQ Community Has Lost a Great Soul

(Photo from left to right Elisia, Wanda, Brenda, Carrie)


Brenda Henson died yesterday, February 8, 2008.

For those of you who didn’t know her, Brenda was one of those women who comes along every thousand years or so.

She was strong, wise, inspirational and transformational and she will be missed.

Back in the mid-1990's, we read an article in Lesbian Connection Magazine about a lesbian couple in Mississippi who were building a feminist retreat and folk school -- Camp Sister Spirit -- in the small town of Ovett.

The article described the trials and tribulations Brenda and Wanda Henson were experiencing as their neighbors -- who apparently were not thrilled at the prospect of a lesbian run retreat in their back yard -- formed an unruly mob/ "not-so-welcome wagon" and tried to get the camp closed down.

They used tried and true terrorist tactics to get the gals to move: they rode their ATV's around the perimeter of the Camp firing their shot-guns into the air; they killed a dog and draped it over the Camp's mailbox; they messed with the water lines, forcing Wanda to turn off the water each evening and turn it back on again in the morning.

But the angry townsfolk didn't know who they were messing with. Wanda and Brenda did not strike back with violence -- they had a more powerful weapon: love, forgiveness, outreach and understanding.

After reading the LC article, we traveled with a group of activists, lead by Robin Tyler, to the Camp to help build a fence -- with whatever materials we could salvage -- to keep out the ATV's.

That's when we met Brenda and Wanda -- whose strength and determination helped to inspire us to dedicate our own lives to helping our community.

Eventually, the Henson's strategy to win over the neighbor's worked. The Ovett community grew to respect Wanda and Brenda after the couple opened a food bank at the Camp and proceeded to share food and anything else they had to offer with the people of Jones County Mississippi. Even some of those folks who had initially shunned and threatened them finally came around.

Years later, when we first started talking about quitting our jobs to make legal documents for LGBTQ families… and especially when we were making plans to ride bicycles across the country to advocate for marriage equality -- we talked of Wanda and Brenda and all that they had suffered and accomplished. Their story made us realize there was nothing we could not do if we set our minds to doing it.

And so, here we are.

Today is Saturday and Brenda died yesterday -- on Friday. On Tuesday afternoon we received a call from Brenda who told us she she did not have long to live.

She asked if we could make her a Last Will and other legal documents that would protect Wanda’s rights. Of course made her documents and sent them immediately. She died two days after the papers were signed.

We are so grateful that we got the chance not only to say goodbye to our friend, but also to give her the peace of mind in her last hours – knowing that Wanda’s rights would not be swept away by her passing.

We are also honored to have been given the chance to help Wanda be free to mourn the loss of her best friend and partner rather than facing the cold and futile legal system that refuses to acknowledge the depth of the commitment they had for one another.

Wanda and Brenda’s relationship deserves to be treated with dignity and respect – and NOT like they were strangers to one another.

It sickens us to no end that they had to scramble and fret at the last minute just so they could have what a married couple would immediately receive.

We are just glad we were here for them.